When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,`It is well, it is well, with my soul.’”
Someone recently asked me in an email to share with them about my walk with the Lord. Trying to summarize my walk was no easy task, but this is what I wrote:
“As for my walk with the Lord, I was raised in a great church, but due to my own rebellion and strong will, I ran as fast as I could to get away from it all as soon as I could, and from 18 to my mid 30s, I pretty much lived for myself. Life was good for a season. I dated, got married, had children and thought everything was the way it was supposed to be for a busy family of five. But then one afternoon, standing in front of my kitchen window in my newly-built dream home, I came face to face with the reality of the life I was living and faced my own personal “demons,” so to speak. I was married, had three beautiful children, a brand new house in one of the nicest sections of my city, nice cars and most of the things we Americans dream about, and yet I was lost, lonely and miserable. It was then I cried out to God in my desperation. ”God, I cannot do this one more day,” I said, throwing in the towel of my own efforts to keep my marriage together, to raise Godly children and be the person I thought God wanted me to be. God heard me loud and clear that day, and in that very moment, just like Paul, I had a Damascus Road experience. I felt the sweet, warm oil of God’s Holy Spirit flow down over me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and God’s peace filled every fiber of my being. In that one moment, God and I were one and I can honestly say my life has never been the same since! I’m telling you the truth when I say that from that moment forward, the sky was bluer and the trees were greener than they had ever been before. It was as if blinders had been removed from my eyes and I could “see” things like I’d never seen them before.
That was way back in the early ’80s and it’s been a WILD RIDE ever since! It hasn’t been easy…the struggles have been many and mighty. Although, as a family, we spent several good years trying to rebuild the foundation of our home, the original foundation had been built on sand instead of the Solid Rock of Jesus Christ, and it was not strong enough to withstand the storms of time. My husband walked away from God…my children followed. Over the next few years, one piece at a time, I would watch helplessly as I lost a 27-year relationship with one man, my beautiful home in a nice neighborhood, my fancy cars, all earthly possessions, and the respect of my children.
The years after my divorce were ones of “wandering alone in a desert” with no one but God to lean on. There were days when I didn’t want to get out of bed or keep on living, but God is faithful and over the years He has led me on a journey I wouldn’t trade for all the houses, cars, and eathly possessions in the world. I’ve come from a life of rejection, isolation and total lonliness in a crowded world to one of finally knowing just how much God loves me and that if it has to be just ME & GOD walking alone together among millions of people on this planet for the rest of my life, then so be it — He is all I need. I no longer look to a man for my identity and self-worth and I no longer need my mother’s (or anyone else’s) approval for anything. For the first time in my life I can honestly say it is well with my soul, and that is a “possession” I will hold close and cherish forever.”
